You may have rheumatoid arthritis, but as long as you can laugh about it, rheumatoid arthritis doesn’t have you. Take a look at 29 things only someone with RA would know.
1. You know that MTX SubQ isn’t the name of a rapper.
2. A dollar for each time you’re told to try Tylenol would almost pay for a year of RA meds.
3. You feel very VIP because you can get the flu shot before any of your friends.
4. You’re a self-taught expert in “fighting with the insurance company” law.
5. You circle other arthritis patients like a dog until you sniff out whether they have RA or OA.
6. The identical twins of your fingers live in the sausage section of every deli.
7. You sometimes sing “Let it go” to frozen joints.
8. Sleeping 14 hours straight and still being exhausted isn’t weird.
9. You have your tennis shoes … and you have your dress tennis shoes.
10. You’d choose a pap smear over a joint aspiration any day.
11. The pharmacy greets you by name and pulls your order when they see your car pull up.
12. You can open a variety of household items with your teeth.
13. Your Magic 8 Ball stats are much more accurate than your flare prediction stats.
14. Difficult choice: cute pants with little buttons or the ability to undo buttons quickly when you really have to go.
15. Doesn’t everyone keep injectable medication between the milk and the eggs?
16. Steep stairs with no railings are an invention of the devil.
17. You’ve had to ask other people for your own phone number due to the fog.
18. You feel victorious around people who think a little old shot is the end of the world.
19. You are most thankful at Thanksgiving for online shopping so that you can avoid mall walking and parking.
20. Every drug company sends brochures, and clearly they want you to feel better enough to garden and play tennis.
21. Confirmed plans aren’t really confirmed unless it’s a rheumatologist appointment. Those are set like concrete.
22. You bling out your scooter/cane/mobility aid in that beautiful blue every May for Arthritis Awareness!
23. If you’re stressed or busy, you WILL have an unexpected flare in a completely inconvenient joint.
24. A single flat bed sheet can sometimes hurt you.
25. Airport security screeners light up when they see the collection of medication in your purse.
26. Regular hangovers have fun stories preceding them; methotrexate hangovers are just boring.
27. You’ve given the cheesy double thumbs up as an introduction to avoid shaking hands.
28. Your doctor asks what hurts and you sing him “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” to answer.
29. You know where every elevator, seating area, and slip hazard is everywhere you go.