Now readers, before I get started, I want to remind you that my blog is strictly for entertainment purposes and is not meant to diagnosis or treat any medical illness. I am not a doctor, and although I am freakishly smart, you should probably follow-up with someone a little more serious than myself.
1. Being frozen does not necessarily mean that you are cold.
2. You know that if you are seeing unicorns and believe that your car is made out of skittles, you’re probably taking a dopamine agonist.
3. You can play the fun game of, “What symptoms will I have today?”
4. At the grocery store staring at the gum, you take 20 minutes to pick a flavor, only to return moments later to exchange it.
5. You start 10 projects at home and haven’t finished one.
6. Everyday you’ll have to eat candy, or someone will get hurt.
7. You’ll wear a mask, even if it’s not Halloween.
8. You have hidden stashes of Sinemet in your purse, gym bag, key chain, glove box, wallet, and in the flowerpot on your patio.
9. You do a perfect imitation of a garden statue.
10. You can cry almost on cue.
11. You have perfected the dance move called Dyskinesia.
12. You stayed up all night organizing your family photos, and then decide to clean out the garage.
13. Multi-tasking sounds like too much work, so you don’t do it.
14. It doesn’t matter how cold it is, you are somehow sweating.
15. Shaving can be hazardous to your health.
16. When you walk, one arm goes on strike and decides not to swing.
17. No, you don’t smell the dog poo you just stepped in.
18. You will never need to buy an electric toothbrush every again.
19. Your ability to balance decided to take a vacation to Fiji and hasn’t even sent a postcard.
20. You know that Dystonia is not a city in Estonia.
21. You will always win a staring contest.
22. You have been pulled over for drunk driving, but haven’t even had a drop of booze.
23. You know that an abduction by aliens in not necessary to get Deep Brain Stimulation.
24. You would pay top dollar for Dopamine on the black market.
25. Bloodhounds are jealous of your ability to drool.